I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
