There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
