I need help removing her.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
