FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize
