shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
