if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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