my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
