I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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