Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
