The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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