I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's always time for handjobs
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
