I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
