i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
