Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
