I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
