Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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