I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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