i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
