I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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