the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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