Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
