My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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