He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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