Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
