Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
