I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
