This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
