i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
