it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
