just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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