Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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