Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
