if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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