Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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