On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
