We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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