theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
