we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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