is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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