Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
