I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
