Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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