we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
