i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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