Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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