Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
