not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
