My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Houston, we have a blender
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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