Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
