I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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