Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
