The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
