Having a random hookup so left but love u
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
